Emotion and Meaning in Music

Sadness/Mourning
     In my 21 years of life, I've never heard a song that creates such a profound sense of sadness within me as Nico's "These Days."  Her elongated voice, imprisoned by the drone the strings, is the voice of a person who has lost a zest for life, of someone who has been hurt in an irreparable way.  She had a lover, but she won't risk another these days.  She sings:  "I stopped my dreaming, I won't do too much scheming these days."  What is life without dreams?  The origins of the song never cease to amaze me.  It was written by Jackson Browne when he was only 16.  What Browne could've experienced at 16 that left him so completely disillusioned with life is a depressing thought in itself.  On a personal level, the song stirs feelings of sadness within me because it reminds me of a dear friend who is no longer in my life.  I think of her when I hear this song, and I find myself missing our time together.

Joy
     I can't help but feel immense swell of happiness and excitement after I listen to "You Can't Stop the Beat", the closing number to the musical Hairspray.  I've chose to upload the original Broadway version of the song instead of the movie version because I feel this video does a superior job of conveying the energy of the song.  At the heart of the song is a message of acceptance and social progress.  The forces of Life and Happiness do not discriminate based upon arbitrary characteristic such as race or class.  The song has a special place in my heart because I performed this number multiple times in high school show choir.  My fellow choir members and I were a tight knit group that enjoyed having fun together and living life to the fullest.  Though exhausting, performing this number was always a blast, and we found ourselves performing "You Can't Stop the Beat" in locales as diverse as Disney World, New York City, and our high school gymnasium.

Belonging    

     “There is a Light that Never Goes Out” by the Smiths isn’t the most cheerful song.  It’s actually rather depressing; still, Morrissey (the vocalist) has at least found a place where he belongs.  The song is typical teenage drama.  You’ve gotten in a fight with your parents.  In hormone-fueled delirium, you’ve convinced yourself that “it’s there home, not your home” and you’re “welcome no more.”  According to the lyrics, being hit by a bus would far better than Morrissey’s current situation.  Who do you turn to in this desperate hour?  Your friends, of course.  To me, the “light that never goes out” reflects the idea that there is still hope for something better, even when all seems lost.

Gender

     Defining my gender is an issue I’ve struggled with at times.  I’m not comfortable living up to many of the male stereotypes that exist in our society, such as a sense of entitlement and freedom from accountability.  Nevertheless, I catch myself fulfilling these stereotypes from time to time.  I find that Beyoncé’s “If I Were A Boy” highlights many of these stereotypes in a powerful manner.  Consider the musical tone set by the song:  we merely have Beyoncé’s searing soprano accompanied by minimal instrumentation.  Lyrically, the song turns the tables.  She criticizes male machismo by wearing the guise of a man and playing by his rules.  The song always leaves me questioning myself.  Have I acted this way?  How has my behavior impacted others?  Beyoncé could send any man on a guilt trip with this song.

Songprint

     For starters, I feel it's easiest to discuss my origins.  I selected two tracks entitled "Small Town", one I know by heart, the other I found just recently.  The latest "Small Town" I discovered is a song by Lou Reed and John Cale (formerly of the Velvet Underground).  The song was written as an homage to Andy Warhol, yet Reed's scathing description of the sense of desolation one feels living in asmall town ("When you're growing up in a small town/And you're having a nervous breakdown/And you think you'll never escape it, yourself or the place that you live) resonates profoundly with me.  On numerous occasions, I have expressed my longing for the day in which I will depart my hometown of Bloomfield, IN (pop. 2,500), and move on to bigger and better things.

     On the other hand, as I have gotten older, I have grown to appreciate the lessons I learned from growing up in a small town.  Though coming of age in such a tight-knit community as Bloomfield comes off as suffocating at times, I understand the importance of one's duty to family, friends, and the community.  I was taught that a man must be true to his word, and to himself.  I learned how to carry myself in a dignified fashion.  My second selection, John Mellencamp's "Small Town", may seem cliché, especially for someone from Indiana; however, the lyrics truly resound like a gospel to me.  I want to see the world, and live my life to the fullest, but in the end I'll never forget my home.

     The values I have today aren't so much shaped by the values of my hometown as they are by the values instilled in me by my parents.  My parents can best be described as fun-loving, welcoming people.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they came of age in those wild years known as the 1960s and 1970s.  The popular music of their era expressed many messages and differing points of view, which helped shaped my parents into the people they are today.  Of the music my parents passed down to me, I've been particular impacted by The Beatles (as are many people on this planet).  I feel as though my personal belief system is best epitomized by one of the band's songs, "All You Need Is Love."  The message is fairly clear, that love is greatest we can give to each other, and it is the greatest gift we can receive.  It is a force that has the potential to change a life in profound ways.

     Selecting a song to describe who I am is tricky because there's so much to tell; however, I believe a person's favorite song says a great deal about his personality.  My all-time favorite is David Bowie's "Rock n Roll Suicide."  The title may seem disheartening, but I find the song to actually be a message of hope.  The song is a commitment to carry on even when everything in your life is spiraling out of control.  The song begins as a hushed, acoustic description of loneliness and desperation, until the electric crescendo and key change, in which Bowie declares in his booming falsetto:  "Oh no, love, you're not alone!"

   What is there to say of the life I'm living at this current moment in time?  I'm at a transitional phase in my life.  After IFS ends, I will be leaving Indiana University (and the United States) for one academic year to study at the University of Madrid.  For a little while, I am saying goodbye to the people I know and love, and the culture that I understand.  I'm excited, but I'm also nervous about entering a new chapter of my life.  Ultimately, though, I believe life is about changes.  We have to experience change and face challenges in order to grow, and to learn who we really are.  Closing this blog post with another Bowie selection, "Changes", only seems fitting.